Author Archives: Andrew

Charlie & The Chocolate Factory

[“Charlie & The Chocolate Factory” poster art]Smashing film.

Very true to the book: including singing Oompa Loompas and a rather callous Willy Wonka… but I really wish they’d produced an English dub of the movie, because all the talk about “candies” and “pants” (for trousers—“you’ve got mud on your pants”—eeeugh) and “vacation” in amongst the English accents (Charlie & family were English, but they seemed to live in America) was jarring.

Brilliant to see the chocolate room and the boat carved out of an enormous boiling sweetie, and the nut sorting room, and the glass elevator. Quite a nice turn in humour.

Willy Wonka was a bit to shy and weird for my liking, and his ‘issues’ with his ‘father’ were just plain, downright unnecessary, I thought. I’d have preferred a more assertive Wonka, and I’d have preferred if he’d seemed less intentionally complicit in the disposal of the bad children… and the parents could have had a bit more oomph. They were all pretty insipid. Only Charlie and Grandpa Joe had much life about them.

And Charlie’s mum (Helena Bonham Carter) ‘s teeth were pretty manky for the wife of a man who works at a toothpaste factory. (What is it that these Americans have about teeth and English people?)

But amazing to look at, and really a very enjoyable film.

And apparently they trained real squirrels for the film, instead of just using CG ones, which you’ve got to give them credit for.

Sin City

[“Sin City” poster art]Bloody hell!

Go and see this film!

I found Kung Fu Hustle morally awkward and I don’t like people hitting each other.

I flinched at this film too, but it’s… well, it’s a work of art. Mind you, it’s a work of art which as you’re walking through the gallery, reaches out of the frame to grab you by the neck and slam your face into the wall before pumping you full of lead, spitting on your face and leaving you for dead. But a work of art nonetheless.

Stellar cast. Bruce Willis is excellent. Mickey Rourke is bloody amazing… but it is the cinematography that’s the star of this film. You’re probably heard that it looks like a comic book brought to life—but it looks like a fantastically well-drawn comic book brought to life. Fantastically well-drawn and über-violent.

I really enjoyed the ride. It’s an involving, visceral thrill of the kind that horror movies strive to provide. Sometimes hard to watch and occasionally very nasty, but the good guys win at the end, kind of.

Now ’scuse me while I grab my shooter and head out to avenge the death of this classy hooker I used to know.

“Boffins create zombie dogs”

Wins my nomination for headline of the year.

And there’s a lovely picture accompanying the article, of a snarling dog-zombie.

Sadly the article is more about suspended animation than reanimation, so my lofty goal of creating an undead army of brain-hungry chihuahuas is still somewhat elusive. Still, with a procedure relying on exsanguination (to arrest bodily decay—the blood gets replaced with salt water) and bolts of electricity (to get the heart going again—after they put the blood back), this does rate pretty high on the godless-meddling-with-nature-o-meter.

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,10117,15739502-13762,00.html

Interestingly, there have been a couple of stories recently about using high concentrations of hydrogen sulphide to induce hibernation in mice, so it seems that science is perhaps only a few years away from being able to do proper human hibernation, like in the movies.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/4469793.stm

The hydrogen sulphide thing seems to be capitalising on some kind of, normally dormant, mammalian hibernation feature. The one with the saline solution and the dogs is apparently making use of a built-in mammalian deep-sea diving facility:

http://science.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=154084&cid=12925633

(Pass the lightning conductor, would you Igor?)