![[“Star Wreck—In The Pirkinning poster art]](/images/reviews/star-wreck-in-the-pirkinning-2005.jpg)
The most important film in science fiction from 2005, possibly from the last decade, and certainly from Finland.
It’s true. Not because of the story, the acting, the effects or the cinematography, but because of the budget.
![[Plate 1: A photograph of the Cyber Brain which ‘serves’ “Dysphoria Net”]](/images/cyberbrain.jpg)
We can only apologise for the recent ‘down time’ of well-regarded ‘hypertext journal’ Dysphoria Net. Although a team of white-coated futurists tends the complex cyber-machinary behind it around the clock— replacing worn-out valves; keeping the inputs well-supplied with punch-tape; and watching the video output devices for any signs of trouble— it seems that disaster descended from the most unlikely of quarters:
It appears that a small insect (or ‘bug’ as the boffins affectionally refer to the little critters), had become enmeshed in the delicate core memory of the Central Processing Unit!
Well, a timely reminder, perhaps, of Man’s hubris in building a Computation Device rivaling the Human Brain itself. In any case, the core files were replaced in a matter of days, and Dysphoria Net is back again in tip-top form.
You may look forward soon to more of our famously witty and irreverant dispatches, once more delivered over this New Electonic Wonder-Medium!
![[Tom Baker emerges from Tardis, all wild-eyed]](/images/dr-who-tom.jpg)
New(ish) series of Doctor Who: watch it, as if the very future of Earth depended upon it!
Frankly, for millions of Earth people, Tom Baker is The Doctor. Think ‘Doctor Who’, and think ‘wild eyes and long scarf.’
To his credit, Christopher Eccleston is on record as saying that when he approached the rôle he aimed only to be the second most-definitive doctor, but for my money he gives Tom a good run for his money. I think he can be allowed to be equally as Doctor as Tom.
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![[“Charlie & The Chocolate Factory” poster art]](/images/reviews/charlie-and-the-chocolate-factory-2005.jpg)
Smashing film.
Very true to the book: including singing Oompa Loompas and a rather callous Willy Wonka… but I really wish they’d produced an English dub of the movie, because all the talk about “candies” and “pants” (for trousers—“you’ve got mud on your pants”—eeeugh) and “vacation” in amongst the English accents (Charlie & family were English, but they seemed to live in America) was jarring.
Brilliant to see the chocolate room and the boat carved out of an enormous boiling sweetie, and the nut sorting room, and the glass elevator. Quite a nice turn in humour.
Willy Wonka was a bit to shy and weird for my liking, and his ‘issues’ with his ‘father’ were just plain, downright unnecessary, I thought. I’d have preferred a more assertive Wonka, and I’d have preferred if he’d seemed less intentionally complicit in the disposal of the bad children… and the parents could have had a bit more oomph. They were all pretty insipid. Only Charlie and Grandpa Joe had much life about them.
And Charlie’s mum (Helena Bonham Carter) ‘s teeth were pretty manky for the wife of a man who works at a toothpaste factory. (What is it that these Americans have about teeth and English people?)
But amazing to look at, and really a very enjoyable film.
And apparently they trained real squirrels for the film, instead of just using CG ones, which you’ve got to give them credit for.
