Patronising Wankers

[Letter and stickets received from Scottish Power. Gits.] Most people would not complain about receiving too few letters from their utility companies. Really.

Very, very few—a tiny minority surely—sit each morning at their letter box, awaiting the latest promotional literature for boilers.

Dispite this, it seems that Scottish Power employ an entire department devoted to fulfilling the needs of this select, and insane, minority.

To the left is an image of their latest ploy. Continue reading

Friends! Romans! Countrymen! Lend me your ears!


Shameless, that’s what I am, shameless.

A Funny Thing Happened on The Way to The Forum opens on Tuesday 13 June at The Citizens’ Theatre, Glasgow. It’s spectacularly funny and you should buy a ticket this instant.

Think of it as a proto-Carry-on-Up-Pompeii… It literally was the prototype for Up Pompeii, and starred Frankie Howerd in the London stage version. Ooh Missus.

It’s wall-to-wall with high-camp and low comedy. Features a script by M*A*S*H writer Larry Gelbart (and Bert Shevlove, who didn’t write for M*A*S*H but evidently was still very funny), and some surprisingly catchy songs by the generally-dissonant Stephen Sondheim.

And, well missus, you don’t get many of them to the pound.

There’s a frankly ridiculous plot: the slave, Pseudolus who wants his freedom; the lovers, Hero and Philia, who want each other; the great general, Miles Gloriosus, who wants Philia too; Domina, Hero’s mother, who likes the look of Miles; Senex, Hero’s father, who is generally trying to escape from Domina. Missing virgins, confused potions, cunning disguises, mistakes, fakes, rhymes, crimes… Comedy ensues, generally.

In case that doesn’t ding your dong: the cast is very talented and I’m assistant directing (which generally involves trying to sneak as many cheap gags past the proper director as possible).

You’ll titter, I promise. Ooh, yes madam, titter you will!

Alright, please yourselves.

CMS Survey

I did a quick review of a couple of CMSs for a project at work. I limited myself to looking at a shortlist of 3 Free Software, LAMP systems, the aim being to select a system for a medium-sized website, with mostly static content, which can be updated easily by the customer. Continue reading

The Matador

[“The Matador” poster art]

Quoth a user comment of the IMDb: “If you go, expect punch lines and sight gags regarding all types of sex, killing, religion, sports, business and anything else you might deem politically incorrect.” Which makes it sound like the Farrelly Brothers do Leon. Which it isn’t. In fact, I think that the commentator (who’s featured on the IMDb’s page for the film) did in fact see a different film, (probably the Farrelly Brother’s remake of Leon, which will likely be released as a sign of some coming apocalypse.)

The Matador is funny. But it’s funny because it’s superbly well observed, and because the plotting is perfectly down the line—just twisted round slightly. It is not a laugh-a-minute, but then these aren’t cheap laughs you’re getting. There are no sight gags per se, though there are funny shots; there aren’t really punch lines because there aren’t jokes—just a funny premise and cracking, crackling dialogue. Continue reading