Author Archives: Andrew

Stramash

I don’t know if this film has ever been released commercially. It seems to have been marketed at Cannes in 2003. I borrowed a copy from a friend who was in it.

Anyway, it’s a feature-length film about a motley crew of variously violent Glaswegians, and the events following a stabbing. It features knife fights, car chases, fantastic editing, variable acting ability (and some of the creakiest dialogue you’ve heard), and was made for the absurdly low sum of £800. (Actually, under £800, I believe.)

It’s well worth watching if for no other reason than to see what a dedicated filmmaker can do on an absolute shoestring.
Continue reading

The Constant Gardener

[“The Constant Gardener” poster art] Ah, a lovely example of Good Filmmaking. See it if you’re in the mood for a meatier film that might make you think.

It is well shot, acted, directed, scripted. Some of the cinematography (it takes place in London and Kenya) is drop-dead gorgeous. It tackles important issues (corruption by Big Pharm in third world countries). The story is compelling.

What surpised me slightly is that it’s based on a John LeCarré novel. Continue reading

Patronising Wankers

[Letter and stickets received from Scottish Power. Gits.] Most people would not complain about receiving too few letters from their utility companies. Really.

Very, very few—a tiny minority surely—sit each morning at their letter box, awaiting the latest promotional literature for boilers.

Dispite this, it seems that Scottish Power employ an entire department devoted to fulfilling the needs of this select, and insane, minority.

To the left is an image of their latest ploy. Continue reading

Friends! Romans! Countrymen! Lend me your ears!


Shameless, that’s what I am, shameless.

A Funny Thing Happened on The Way to The Forum opens on Tuesday 13 June at The Citizens’ Theatre, Glasgow. It’s spectacularly funny and you should buy a ticket this instant.

Think of it as a proto-Carry-on-Up-Pompeii… It literally was the prototype for Up Pompeii, and starred Frankie Howerd in the London stage version. Ooh Missus.

It’s wall-to-wall with high-camp and low comedy. Features a script by M*A*S*H writer Larry Gelbart (and Bert Shevlove, who didn’t write for M*A*S*H but evidently was still very funny), and some surprisingly catchy songs by the generally-dissonant Stephen Sondheim.

And, well missus, you don’t get many of them to the pound.

There’s a frankly ridiculous plot: the slave, Pseudolus who wants his freedom; the lovers, Hero and Philia, who want each other; the great general, Miles Gloriosus, who wants Philia too; Domina, Hero’s mother, who likes the look of Miles; Senex, Hero’s father, who is generally trying to escape from Domina. Missing virgins, confused potions, cunning disguises, mistakes, fakes, rhymes, crimes… Comedy ensues, generally.

In case that doesn’t ding your dong: the cast is very talented and I’m assistant directing (which generally involves trying to sneak as many cheap gags past the proper director as possible).

You’ll titter, I promise. Ooh, yes madam, titter you will!

Alright, please yourselves.